You know you are from Kewaskum if…..

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Comedian Jeff Foxworthy has a successful comedy routine that details ways to know if you are a redneck.

Some neighbors in Kewaskum came up with one-liners that are drawing a smile.

“You know you are from Kewaskum.”

Entries include: You call Fond du Lac Avenue Main Street , even though you know it’s not.

-You are always surprised how busy the Antique Mall is.

-You have been tipsy at a rummage sale.

-You have had a conversation about deer hunting even if you do not hunt.

-You keep your keys in your car when you park it on any street.

-You moved away to go to college, swore you would never move home, and now here you are.

-You’ve worked at the chicken farm, Paul’s or the Pig.

-You had a Laatsch bag your groceries.

-You are proud to be an Indian, don’t actually know a real Indian, but yet know there is nothing racial behind this.

-Even though you live in the Kettle Moraine you know there is only one hill in town to go sledding in winter.

– You have never been anywhere on July 3rd night except Kewaskum on or near the hill.

-You are somehow related to everyone in town by some distant relative.

-The closest you came to a disco/dance club was Skate Country or Amerahns.

-You know Jonesy owns the golf course but have never actually seen him golf.

-You call it the New Park even though it’s 25 years old.

-It’s odd if you don’t recognize a family at church. You assume they must be tourists.

-You have made out on goat man’s road.

-Heberers have done work on your house or your neighbor’s house.

-You know them, but not their real names: Tubby, Nucker, Bags, Crickets, Vern, Swede, Mud Duck, Moochie, Squeak, Beans.

-You still can’t figure out why Clark is smiling all time.

Entries courtesy ventingprocess.com

Page photo courtesy Aaron Laatsch

Photo courtesy pinterest.com

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