December 25, 2019 – Kewaskum, WI – Comedian Jeff Foxworthy has a successful comedy routine that details ways to know if you’re a redneck.
Some neighbors in Kewaskum came up with one-liners that are drawing a smile.
“You know you are from Kewaskum.”
Entries include: You call Fond du Lac Avenue Main Street , even though you know it’s not.
-You are always surprised how busy the Antique Mall is.
-You have been tipsy at a rummage sale.
-You have had a conversation about deer hunting even if you do not hunt.
-You keep your keys in your car when you park it on any street.
-You moved away to go to college, swore you would never move home, and now here you are.
-You’ve worked at the chicken farm, Paul’s or the Pig.
-You had a Laatsch bag your groceries.
-You are proud to be an Indian, don’t actually know a real Indian, but yet know there is nothing racial behind this.
-Even though you live in the Kettle Moraine you know there is only one hill in town to go sledding in winter.
– You have never been anywhere on July 3rd night except Kewaskum on or near the hill.
-You are somehow related to everyone in town by some distant relative.
-The closest you came to a disco/dance club was Skate Country or Amerahns.
-You know Jonesy owns the golf course but have never actually seen him golf.
-You call it the New Park even though it’s 25 years old.
-It’s odd if you don’t recognize a family at church. You assume they must be tourists.
-You have made out on goat man’s road.
-Heberers have done work on your house or your neighbor’s house.
-You know them, but not their real names: Tubby, Nucker, Bags, Crickets, Vern, Swede, Mud Duck, Moochie, Squeak, Beans.
-You still can’t figure out why Clark is smiling all time.
Entries courtesy ventingprocess.com
Page photo courtesy Aaron Laatsch