West Bend, Wi – There was a Celebration of Life over the weekend for Vietnam veteran Tommy Downing at VFW Post 1393 on Sand Drive in West Bend, Wi. The Post was filled with people, stories, and in the unmistakable hum of a community showing up for one of its own. The event for Downing revealed a man whose journey stretched from a small farm in Tomah to the heart of a veteran community he helped shape.
For his brother, Jim Downing, those memories begin simply. “There were eight children in our family,” Jim said. “I’m number six, Tommy was number four.”
The Downing children grew up just north of Tomah on what Jim described as “a very small dairy farm… I used to call it a hillbilly farm.” They milked a modest herd of 15 to 18 cows, a far cry from modern operations, but rich in lessons that would stick.
“He, being my older brother, kind of taught me a lot of things,” Jim said. “Some good, some bad. But I think the main thing was just… respect for the farm, the animals, that type of thing.”
That respect would carry Tommy far beyond the fields.
After following their older brother Jerry to West Bend for work, Tommy soon found himself drafted into the U.S. Army during the Vietnam era. He was just 19 or 20 years old.
“He went to Fort Leonard Wood initially for training… then to the Aberdeen Proving Grounds for aircraft training,” Jim said. “Within six months of being drafted, he was on his way to Vietnam.”
Tommy served about a year overseas with the First Cavalry Division before returning home. But as Jim reflected, the return was not immediate in spirit.
“When he went into the service, he was a country kid that probably saw things that he wasn’t prepared for in Vietnam,” Jim said. “When he came back… it took him a while to reach us.”
Eventually, West Bend became home. Though Tommy never had children and lived much of his life independently, he found something just as meaningful — a second family at the VFW.
“Very much so,” Jim said of Tommy’s involvement. “As you can see.”
That involvement wasn’t casual. It was foundational.
“He took care of the grounds,” said Jim. “With pride.”
Among his many contributions was a simple idea that became tradition.
“He put together… what started out as a steak fry,” Jim said. “Then that transitioned to like a hamburger fry… I’m assuming that was somewhat of a fundraiser… on Tuesday nights.”
That tradition lives on today in a name many at the post know well.
“Tommy was the original starter of burger nights at the VFW Post,” said Susie Graff, a longtime volunteer. “He started them on Tuesday night… and he just always called them the Tommy Burger. He stood back there and he made them to his perfection.”
But Tommy’s imprint went far beyond the grill.
“He was the first guy to be the Santa Claus. He was the first guy to be the Easter Bunny,” Graff said. “There’s a sheet up there that lists all the things that he started here.”
And he didn’t just organize, he invested.
“He planted all the flowers outside,” she said. “He was here in the morning pulling weeds before the manager got here… and he paid for a lot of that stuff himself.”
His generosity quietly extended to others, especially children during the holidays.
“One year they had turned down something for Tommy for Christmas for buying presents for the kids,” Graff recalled. “So I said, ‘we’ll have money for you, don’t worry.’ I started a jar… he had more money than he had ever raised before, and what we didn’t use, we donated back to him.”
For Graff, the loss is deeply felt. “He was a great guy,” she said. “He will truly be missed here.”
As the crowd swelled far beyond expectations, Jim could only take it in.
“Totally blown away,” he said. “Just blown away.”
Though the family chose not to publish a formal obituary, word spread quickly through the network Tommy helped build.
“They said… ‘the club will take care of it… they’ll pass the word, and there will be a big turnout,’” Jim recalled.
They were right.
